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Dating Tips for Guys: Meeting a Woman Surrounded by Friends

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A woman's friends are her velvet rope. Make a good impression and you'll be whisked inside the club; flub your approach and you'll be kicked to the curb. "If you charm a woman's friends, it's that much easier to impress her," says Susan Rabin, a dating coach and the author of Lucky in Love. First make them happy -- and then make her yours.

Read the Defense

Scan the room like Ben Roethlisberger. "Huddling behavior means they're closed to outsiders," says Dennie Hughes, a relationship expert and the author of Dateworthy. Your best bet is an outward-facing group or a line of women doing their own scanning. Aim for groups of three women or more, so no one ends up alone. "It doesn't matter how much a woman likes you," says Hughes, "if leaving with you means stranding her friend, you'll lose."

Make the Approach

The handshake and easy intro ("Hi, my name is . . .") works one-on-one, but you'll look like a politician if you greet an entire group that way. So make use of your surroundings. If the ladies are gathered near the pool table, visit the nearby jukebox. Take song requests or rack up at the table. Watch what they watch, and comment: "Nice mullet, eh?" or "Hey, I saw you checking out SportsCenter--you a Cubs fan?" Introductions will naturally follow.

Follow the Leader

The woman guiding the conversation is your "logical starting point," says Hughes. (If you begin with the shy woman on the periphery, her protective friends may close ranks.) Topics? Use the 30-day rule, from Phyllis Davis, author of E2: Using the Power of Ethics and Etiquette in American Business. Keep the conversation current: Bring up only events that have happened in the past month or will happen in the next. "It will make you more fascinating -- it's alive, it's interesting, and it's personal," says Davis.

Control the Flow

Indicate interest with body positioning, not come-ons. Subtly mirror her gestures: If she nods, you nod; if she laughs, you laugh. When you turn your head toward whoever is speaking, keep your shoulders square with hers. "This is subtle but effective," says Davis. Note which topics capture her attention, and guide the group toward anything she finds interesting. She likes Spanish cooking? Talk tapas.

Split Subtly

The finale is quiet, a tête-à-tête. Ask her to help you grab some drinks or pick songs at the jukebox. "That's when you make her blush," says April Masini, author of Date out of Your League. "If she likes you, she'll love that you spent time with her friends but ultimately chose her. You'll feel more confident, and she'll feel less pressure."

Source : Men's Health




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